Grayson Allen Is A Baby. The 21-year-old Duke guard who acts closer to 12 channeled his inner Draymond Green during last nights 72-61 win over Elon. The adult baby tripped opposing guard Steven Santa Ana, then had an angry meltdown on the bench before crumbling into an emotional wreck in the locker room. Following the incidents, news came out that this Dennis the Menace incarnate has been suspended indefinitely by head coach Mike HolyShitWhatALastName. While on suspension we'll assume Grayson will turn to his Li'L Bastard General Mischief Kit and shoot bb's at bird nests or whatever the hell he does with his spare time.

Click for more sports news!

Holiday Cheer. NFL players are dressing up to celebrate the upcoming holidays, most notably Baltimore Ravens wide receive Steve Smith Sr. and Seattle Seahawks defensive lineman Michael Bennett. Smith channeled his inner Buddy with this elf costume, and Bennett went meta, wearing a holiday sweater featuring a picture of himself performing the Hingle McCringleberry celebration dance. Check out the full slate of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day games here.

***

#WTFapp. A San Diego Chargers security guard really loves his team, and we mean, he really loves them. After choking the chicken on the field mid-game (NSFW) this past week, the security guard has now been fired. Hopefully he got at least one happy ending out of this whole ordeal.

***

Sad Ending. Following his 22-assist game, Russell Westbrook put up 46 points, yet still lost. That's like a getting ready for your "happy ending" at the shady massage parlor you specifically picked out, only to realize you're actually at a standard, run-of-the-mill massage parlor.

***

It's Been A While. For the first time in 13 years, you got laid! But also, the Oakland Raiders made the playoffs, then posted the worst video ever to Twitter to celebrate!

***

Dirty Bird. Jamal Anderson not only made the Dirty Bird dance famous, he is a dirty bird. The former Atlanta Falcons running back pulled out his penis in an Atlanta-area convenience store earlier this week. Lucky for us, tape of the 911 call was released.

***

Johnny's Back. Jon Gruden, the guy who whacks incoming rookie quarterbacks with pool noodles and loves magic almost as much as Spider 2 Y Banana (Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C), is reportedly interested in the new LA Rams head coaching position.

***

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge. Hopefully NFL players know how to dodge a wrench, because dodgeball is making its way to this year's NFL Pro Bowl, which is being produced by the same team that produces American Ninja Warrior and Hell’s Kitchen (not joking).

***

NFL Injuries & Their Fantasy Impact. In the midst of a breakout season, San Diego Chargers running back Melvin Gordon was carted off the field in yesterday's game against the Carolina Panthers with a hip injury. Gordon is three-yards short of having a 1,000-yard season, is third in the NFL for total yards from scrimmage, and has 12 total touchdowns. For those who road Gordon's coattails to the fantasy playoffs, you better hope he fakes injuries as much as Paul Pierce. Elsewhere, Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill (who sucks) suffered what is believe to be a torn ACL, but if that has fantasy implications for your team, then we know you're playing in the consolation bracket.

***

Imagine This, But In Front Of A Computer. That's right, Will Ferrell will star in an upcoming comedy, playing a member of a professional eSports team. Sure, it's fun to laugh at eSports now, but mark our words, in 30 years Disney will be making an inspiring movie about an eSports athlete overcoming short-thumb syndrome.

***

Bringing The Boom. The best part of last night's terrible MNF game that saw the Colts beat the Jets 41-10 was easily when two fans took off their shirts and ran on the field, only for one to get obliterated by a New Jersey State Trooper. For reals, check out this picture.

***

The Producers. For reasons beyond human logic, the LA Rams extended head coach Jeff Fisher's contract by two years. During five years under Fisher, the Rams boast a horrendous 31-44-1 record. Team owner Stan Kroenke must be testing out The Producers strategy to see if he can "make more money with a flop than he could with a hit."

Let's talk sports.